gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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