i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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