wat bout pragnant strippers??
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
