I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
