can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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