I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
