ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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