what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
