Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
