There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I wear drunk well.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
