The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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