I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
