Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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