I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i think my cat just said my name.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
