What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
