This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
