we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
it was like eating out sand paper
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
