i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
