I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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