Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
We are two peas in an std pod
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
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