so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
PANTIES FOUND
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
