I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
