she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
