I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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