that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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