your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
