How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
