The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
