Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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