If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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