When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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