I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
