took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
