in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
