THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
