Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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