So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
