Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
