Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
