loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
