good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
