Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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