my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
