Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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