she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
