How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
