i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
