The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
