So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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