can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
