I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Randomize
