I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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