you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
